Wedding Diary: Guest List Dilemma
September 29| posted in - marcia's wedding diary, weddings
As soon as I got engaged I started thinking about where I wanted the wedding to take place and who I wanted to invite to share in my big day. I’ve done quite a bit of research to see what the “experts” think as it pertains to the guest list and locations. Here’s what happens when I analyze the top 5 questions that I found when determining your guest list.
The first 2 questions: What is my dream wedding and what can we afford? Now, if you want to really take the wind out of someone, ask them to dream up their wedding and then ask them to check their bank account. So dreams are not allowed when it comes to planning this wedding. Don’t get me wrong, I will have some things that I have always thought about incorporating into my wedding but just with a few more realistic expectations. I’m confident that I will get exactly what I want, well, maybe most of what I want.
Question 3: Who is important that you must have at your wedding? I have a large family (mom’s side alone: 7 aunts/uncles and 23 cousins) and we are very close. I wanted to make sure that I was able to invite my family and still have room for my friends. Oh, and then I assumed that Nelson would like to invite some of his family and friends as well so I asked him to start his list. Let’s take a moment to remember why my fiancé is the man for me; my list is double the size of his and he doesn’t complain. I think our combined list is a reflection of my our close friends and family so I am pleased with the results. After putting our two lists together our initial headcount caused dollar signs to start dancing in my head. Actually it caused Nelson to say, “We are sticking to the budget no matter what”. Look, the budget thing is difficult for me so he has to constantly remind me that there is one. Ugh, the dilemmas are already starting and I don’t even have a date picked out yet.
Question 4: Who is absolutely not welcome to your wedding? Hummm…that’s an interesting question and one I am definitely not going to answer in a blog. Um, I guess we will know when we send out the invites. Public Service Announcement: We love you, we just can’t invite everyone. I did however think it was funny that this article also mentioned specifically that you should not invite people that drink too much. Wow, that really kills my list. It’s a wedding. We are serving alcohol. No worries, I already have a list for the bartender with names and limits. You know who you are. Some of you were partying with me when this photo was taken.
Final Question: Who is paying for the wedding? This question really is; should you allow your family to add to the guest list? After completing our initial list I thought about something…do we need to ask our parents if they want to invite someone?
Here is my thought as it pertains to extending our guest list to our families for additions: If you pay you have a say. And not just a small payment, you need to make a significant contribution in order to add to my guest list. If you know my mother you know I am totally blowing smoke. If she called right now and said “Marcia, I have ten people I want to invite” I would say “OK, is there anyone else”? You don’t mess with Momma Robinson. Seriously, am I wrong for feeling that since Nelson and I are the ones paying for the wedding the guests should be chosen by us? So, let me know what you think about my guest list dilemma.
Comments (2)
Hey Cousin!! Of course I have comments on this guest list situation!!! Honestly, if you want a ‘say’ you have to ‘pay’ substantially! The other Momma Robinson (my dear mom) had her own ‘guest list’…we wanted small/intimate/immediate family…ceremony and a lavish dinner..(no real bells/whistles) BUT, in comes the ‘motherly advice’…which was headed off at the pass with ‘well mom, if you are going to take care of (PAY FOR) the reception, invitations and all that jazz then OK, OK…You can have a say… Bottom line is, and I know you have heard this time and time again, it is your day, yours and Nelson’s (so often we forget about them…ITS MY DAYYYYY!!!) LOL Seriously though, it’s you all’s (YALLS) day, do what’s going to make you happy and what fits in your budget (that is if you don’t have any contribtions made into the budget).. Now, if there are contributions made then allow some bending room, with limits.
I’m ending here!! Could go on and on for days!! BUT make the best of planning for your BIG DAY!!! Please don’t let it stress you out too much and try to have all ducks in a row at least a month prior to the date! That way you can go into it with ease, peace and a sound mind! (You will certainly need those things after you all say I DO!) People have varying opinions of marriage, some say it’s good, some say it’s bad, some say it’s not what I thought it would be or it’s not what you think it is…. but I would say this to you as my cousin and my friend.. Marriage is what you make it and what you put into it..
Congrats again…
I agree with Kelly cause I know I’m not putting any money in the pot (but I will be at the bar if anyone is looking for me during the reception).